Night of the Living Candy
by jjgp1112
Summary: When the Straw Hats journey to an island for a Halloween costume party, a terrible, candy-addicted figure shrouded in fable arises in order to satisfy his age-old grudge against Pirates...


**Peek-a-Boo! Even if I wore an Eiichiro Oda costume, One Piece still wouldn't be mine!**

Luffy tightened the blue band around his wrist and smiled. It was almost perfect, save for one final touch. He looked in the mirror across from him and wildly ran his hands through his hair. It was times like these where he wished he had Franky's improbable hairstyle-generating powers. There was only so much his hands could do to make his hair sufficiently spiky and stylish enough to finish this particular look off. After ruffling his hair for another minute or so, he decided not to push it.

"Eh, close enough!" he chuckled.

Feeling satisfied with his look, Luffy left the men's quarters and stepped out into the night skies to join the rest of the boys on the ship. His outfit immediately caught the eyes of Usopp and Brook.

"Whoa! Goku, huh? That's the perfect costume for you, Luffy!" Usopp marveled. Luffy laughed and tugged at his orange _Gi_ with pride. It was October 31, also known as Luffy's favorite day of the year: Halloween! The Straw Hats were getting their best outfits ready for the costume party they were headed to in a few minutes.

"Goku? Who's that?" Brook asked.

"Oh yeah, you spent all of those on that Ghost Ship, so you've probably never heard of Dragon Ball," Usopp said. He didn't have a costume on at that moment.

"It's only the coolest, most awesome _manga_ there is!" Luffy cheered, firing a few punches and kicks at nobody in particular. Just wearing Goku's signature outfit had him fired up.

"I don't see a costume on you, Usopp," Brook remarked.

"I could say the same to you!" Usopp retorted.

Brook breathed an anguish sigh and looked down at his usual suit. "Well you see, Usopp, I had the perfect idea for a costume that was sure to frighten anyone who caught sight of it. In fact, when I first saw it in one of the costume stores, my heart nearly leaped out of my chest…well if I had a heart to begin with! It was the most demonic, terrifying skeleton I'd ever set my non-existent eyes upon in my 90 years of my life! I had to put it on myself, as I was sure I'd had a winning costume on my hands!"

Usopp and Luffy leaned towards Brook, appearing fascinated by where his story was headed.

"But then I remembered - I'm already a skeleton! Yohohohoho!"

The other two Straw Hats were doubled over in laughter, even having seen the punchline coming a million miles away. Make no bones about it, Brook was suitably scary enough as it was!

Usopp smugly folded his arms over his chest and began to snicker. "Now I'm sure you guys are hanging at the edge of your seats wondering what _my_ costume will be. Well, it's rather simple, boys!" The long-nosed sniper took a dash inside, and just seconds later he returned, zipped past Luffy and Brook and stood on top of the edge of the Thousand Sunny, catching the attention of the other male Straw Hats. He had his back turned to them, the only indicator of his costume being the long, red cape that was blowing triumphantly through the wind.

"With his special permission, of course, I am donning the look of an old friend of mine!" Usopp's voice was devoid of its typical nasal. In fact, if anybody didn't know any better, they would have thought that voice belonged to a brave warrior rather than a cowardly goof. Usopp swiftly turned around, showing off his full costume to the rest of the boys.

"I AM SNIPER KING!"

Luffy and Chopper screamed their lungs out at the sight, overwhelmed with awe. With sparkles in their eyes, they stormed past the other Straw Hats to marvel at Usopp's conspicuously accurate costume. While the others rolled their eyes (well, one of them didn't have any to roll but you get the point!), the two more childish Straw Hats were nearly drooling. Chopper looked especially ridiculous, as he was in his human-like form and painted green, with a flat-top wig tucked over his head. He was a fawning, gushing, high-pitched Frankenstein monster.

"Whoa, you look just like him!" Luffy gasped. His teeth couldn't stop chattering while he touched Sniper King's mask like a curious child.

"How did you put something so accurate together, Usopp?" Chopper wondered.

Feeling especially confident, Usopp cleared his throat and continued speaking in his powerful Superhero voice. "Well you see, children, I had made one of my routine trips to Sniper Island, and-"

"Can it, nimrods," Sanji hoarsely interrupted. The chain-smoking cook's demeanor was smugger than usual, accentuated by the silky red smoker's jacket he was wearing and the pipe he was smoking in place of his trusted cigarette. "You guys are too naïve for your own good."

"Oh, don't be a party pooper, Sanji! A costume that _SUPER_ deserves all of the praise it can get! It doesn't measure up to mine of course, but it's definitely getting the job done!" Franky went the obvious route for his costume – black pants, black gloves, black shades, and a black leather coat over his massive, shirtless torso. He even shaped his hair into a blue flat top and had a fake machine gun clutched in his right hand.

"Not as good as yours, Franky? At least mine is creative!" Usopp argued, slipping his mask up over his head to show his taunting smirk. "Ooh, a cyborg dressed as a cyborg, how cutting edge!"

Franky threateningly stepped forward to Usopp, which made the supposedly brave Sniper King squeak and hide behind Luffy. "I'm not creative?! You ARE Sni-"

"Gentlemen, gentlemen, no need to argue over your costumes!" Brook stepped between Franky and Usopp. The skeleton excitedly raised his tightly gripped fists to his chest. "After all, we have yet to see what the ladies have chosen to wear!"

When Sanji's mouth sank upon hearing Brook's statement, he didn't even notice his pipe fall to the grass. Just the mere thought left him with shortness of breath and a trickle of blood squirting from his nose.

"N-nami-sweet and Robin-dearest's costumes, you say…?"

The perversion was thick in the air. Sanji's had his eyes glued to the women's quarters, quivering in anticipation of the moment his two beautiful crewmates strolled out in their costumes. His mind was racing with the sexy possibilities of the types of revealing outfits they had chosen, crudely drifting off into fantasies pertaining to them.

The sound of the ladies' door opening elicited gasps from Sanji and Brook. When the first footstep emerged from the shadows, the two perverts hopped around like schoolchildren.

The footstep belonged to Robin, who strutted out of the door in a leather catsuit that was wrapped so tightly around her body that an unsuspecting eye would have thought it had been painted on. As if the suit hadn't been enough, she had a black whip in her hand that left Brook and Sanji's indulging in thoughts about what she needed to do with that particular item. To finish off the costume, she had a cat mask covering half of her face.

"So I take it you like it, boys?" Robin playfully giggled.

Sanji's eyes had become full-blown hearts. "It may be short on the skin but it's still splendid!" The love-cook leaped forward to squeeze Robin in a tight embrace, but the archaeologist smoothly evaded his body and let him fall to the grass. Not that it hurt him, of course. He continued to giggle and squeal even as his face was buried in the grass. By that point, his brain wasn't operating on a plane resembling reality.

"Heeeey, all black too! Looks like you've got good taste on top of good looks!" Franky cheered when Robin stopped next to him.

"Why thank you, Franky," Robin said with a wink that made the World's #1 Cyborg Pervert strike a pose with vigor.

It was a good thing Sanji was still on the floor, because all of the strength burst out of his body when he feasted his eyes on what came from the door next. With all due respect to Robin's beauty, what she was wearing had nothing on what he was seeing now. The lecherous grin on Sanji's face was wide enough to put the Sunny to shame. A Jetstream of blood burst from his nose and took the form of the devil's horns!

All Brook could do was squeak strained gasps. Usopp was telling more of Sniper King's tales of bravery to Luffy and Chopper, but as soon as his eyes caught what the pervert trio had, the only words he could form were stutters. Sanji couldn't hold it in anymore…

" _ **NAMI-SWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"**_

A pair of red devil horns over her luscious hair. A long, red sickle in her right hand. Red & black boots in the shape of flames. A spiky, black choke around her neck. A red & black corset, split open down the middle and squeezed around her torso so tightly that her chest looked like it was going to explode out if it any second. A red, frilly skirt so short that not even a Tontatta could conceal itself in it. And those fangs she put in over her teeth! The demonic icing on the cake!

Sanji burst up from the ground and landed in front of the Satanically-clad Nami, kneeling with his arms raised while blood flowed freely onto his smoker's coat. His lustful gaze was directed towards the skies.

"Dear God, I come to you as an unrepentant sinner, a wretched vessel of lustful perversion! Rain down upon me with your unforgiving fist of judgment and banish me to the deepest, darkest circle of hell, so that the Devil herself can subject me to all of her sadistic, depraved tortures for the remainder of eternity!"

All Brook could do was stagger in his suit. Nevermind the physical impossibility of a skeleton bleeding from his nose, Brook was engulfed in perverted bliss. "If I hadn't already been there and done that, I would have thought I'd died and gone to heaven…or rather hell in this case, but it is a heavenly sight all the same!"

Nami confidently smirked. She usually regarded Brook and Sanji's leering over her as a nuisance, but she was going to allow it for this night. After all, that was the reaction she was going for when she first bought that costume. And judging from the fact that even the less perverted Straw Hats were ogling her, it had worked.

"Holy cow!" Usopp shouted, swiping blood away from his protruding nose.

While Chopper carried on, not aware of what all of the hoopla was, Luffy kept looking at Nami with a blank gaze, which caught her eye. It almost looked like he was studying her. The captain had never shown any interest in anything other than adventure and meat, so maybe his brain was trying to figure out what made her costume so special.

What she saw come from his nose made her gasp. Guess he'd figured it out. "Luffy, are you…?!"

All eyes turned to the Pirate-turned-Alien-Martial-Artist for the day. He was confused, and in all honesty a little annoyed, because the attention they were giving him interrupted his staring at Nami. While he never cared to actually tell anyone, since it wasn't particularly important to him, he was always fond of Nami's appearance. Well, except for when she got all scary. He grew curious when everyone's jaws fell to the floor.

"LUFFY'S HAVING A NOSEBLEED?!" They all yelled, besides Robin.

Luffy arched his brow in confusion and rubbed beneath his nose. When he felt warm liquid spill onto his finger, he looked down at it just to confirm it was blood. He looked back up at Nami, and then to the rest of the crew. And laughed.

"Oh, well that's no good!" he remarked with a shrug before wiping his nose off. "Nice costume, Nami!"

"What's with all the racket?"

The groggy voice of Zoro emerged from the behind the dining room. He joined the rest of the crew, yawning and shoving his pinky finger into his ear. He took a gander at everyone's outfits and remembered the costume party they were all headed to later.

"I smelled blood and heard a bunch of yelling, so I figured you guys had a helluva party going on," Zoro lazily explained.

"That's what's causing all the blood," Usopp said, pointing at Nami. Zoro turned to her and looked at her costume up and down.

"So?"

Franky, Usopp, and Brook slapped their foreheads while Nami shot the aloof swordsman a petulant glare. Sanji was too busy rolling on the floor and muttering to himself to provide any comment. The Navigator decided to ignore the meathead and turn her attention back to Luffy. She was honestly a little bit surprised that he of all people showed some sort of interest in her looks. In fact, she found it incredibly flattering.

Nami approached Luffy, unconsciously running a hand along her hair and straightening her posture to look more appealing. "So, Luffy, what do you like about my costume?" she teasingly asked. Luffy narrowed his eyes in thought.

"Your boobs?" came his blunt answer.

Luffy's crudeness popped the air out of Nami's mood and made her heave an annoyed sigh, while the other guys nearly fell on their faces. Sanji sprang back up from the ground and angrily stepped right in front of Luffy to scold him.

"Dumbass, don't describe Nami's dazzlingly gorgeous outfit so crassly!" Sanji reprimanded. Of course, his words rang hollow because he'd stopped mid-sentence to admire her breasts.

"You're starin' right at 'em," Zoro retorted, pointing at her chest to demonstrate.

"Stop talking about my tits!" Nami growled, her face as red as her costume. Her frightening scowl was all the warning needed to straighten the guys out.

"And anyways, where's your costume, Zoro? The party's only a few minutes from now," she asked. Zoro was wearing his usual black pants and green robe.

"I already have my costume on. I'm Sword Dude, a superhero whose special powers are sleeping and guarding the ship, so he gets to wears whatever the hell he wants," Zoro flippantly replied.

"Well look at the party pooper. Then again, between that stupid, mossy hair, hideous face, and mangled eye, you've got yourself a good enough costume as it is." Suffice to say, Sanji had regained enough of his composure to taunt Zoro.

Zoro had one of his swords menacingly pointed at Sanji's face in no time. "Somewhere on that island, there's a child who hasn't gotten a costume yet. I'm sure they wouldn't mind a pansy cook lending them his face for a mask!"

Sanji had his leg lifted up to counter that blade. "Not before I make you the top seller first."

"Children," Nami sarcastically scolded. "Knock it off so we can make it to the party in one piece." The two rivals growled at each other but did as ordered.

Luffy and Zoro led the Straw Hats out of the Thousand Sunny and onto land. The island was known as Beelzea, a popular hangout for pirates, especially during this particular time of the year. While it wasn't riddled with Zombies or held hostage by a shadow-stealing Warlord of the Sea, it was still rather creepy. There was an eerie silencing in the air, accentuated by the legions of Halloween decorations and leave-deprived trees that resembled mangled limbs. However, it was clearly hospitable enough to have a normal population, so it was nothing to be too hung up over. In fact, a couple of its inhabitants were waiting for the Straw Hats at the docks; four children, to be exact.

"TRICK OR TREAT!"

The Straw Hats stopped in front of the kids clad in costumes – three boys, one girl – and smiled. Except for Zoro, of course.

"Sorry kids, we don't have any candy." Though he wasn't expressing anything other than his neutral face, Zoro's icy gaze cast a shadow over the children that made them fearfully quiver and tear up. Zoro's face grew concerned and confused.

"Nice going mosshead, you scared the kids with that ugly face of yours!" Sanji scolded. The cook offered the children a warm smile. "Don't worry kids, this guy's just a lug who only knows how to sleep and get lost; we have plenty of candy on our ship. Just give me a sec!" Sanji turned on his heel and jumped back to the Sunny, ignoring Zoro's murderous glare. The other Straw Hats started laughing at the beleaguered swordsman.

While the kids laughed, one of them settled their eyes on a certain tall, skinny, Afro-wearing pirate. Gasping in amazement, he yelled, "Whoa guys, look at that! A skeleton!"

Brook laughed his signature laugh while the kids joyously clapped. He even started singing while the rest of the crew cheered him on. Zoro, however, was sporting an incredulous scowl.

"What?! I'm not scarier looking than a damn skeleton…!" Zoro grumbled.

"Sorry, Zoro, but the children have spoken!" Nami teased.

Zoro growled and defensively folded his arms, tuning out the laughter being had at his expense. If he wasn't sure this party was going to have plenty of booze, he would have marched his way back to the ship by now. Or at least attempted to. Sanji returned, and sure enough, he had a bag of candy.

"Here you go, kids" Sanji said, emptying the contents of the bag in the kids' pumpkin buckets. "Sorry our big, dumb swordsman had to scare you so much."

"I'll kill you!" Zoro shouted, terrifying the kids yet again. The swordsman's eyes twitched rapidly, as he quickly regretted sending another threat and validating Sanji's endless insults. "If they didn't want to be scared, they shouldn't have gone to a pirate ship," he mumbled.

"Oh yeah, that reminds me, what brought you guys to our ship? There's plenty of houses around here that are actually safe," Nami asked inquisitively.

"We do this every Halloween," one of the boys, wearing a vampire costume, answered. "A ton of pirates come here to party at the Shingai Bar and show off their costumes, so we stop by their ships and ask for candy."

"Our parents hate it 'cuz it's not safe out at night, especially on Halloween, but we think it's fun and we get more candy from you guys anyway!" the little girl in a fairy costume added.

Luffy let out an excited gasp. "The pirate ships have the most candy?! Let's check 'em out!" He hopped to his left to find another ship, but Sanji tugged his arm and dragged him back to the crew.

"We're already probably going to find enough trouble at the bar. We don't need a 500 Million Berry pirate who likes getting lost wandering off to other pirate ships," Sanji tersely explained.

Though Luffy whined, there was no arguing with Sanji's logic. He was simply going to have to find other ways to satisfy his sweet tooth. Since there was no way he was going to find the bar himself, he stepped back and let Nami take the lead.

"We'll show you guys around, but you better hurry," the boy in the vampire costume said. He started to shudder. "Or else…the _devil_ will come out…!"

"THE DEVIL?!" Usopp screamed.

"What, is it Nami?" Zoro quipped, earning himself a punch to the skull.

"No…it's said he lurks around at night every day of the year, but it's not until Halloween that he reveals himself!" the girl added. "We've never seen him for ourselves, but they say he specifically targets. Many pirates who come here to party always end up…disappearing. That's why we have these things with us." The children revealed a set of crosses in their pockets.

"Wait, I think I've heard of this story before," Brook said.

"So what's the deal with it?" Robin asked.

Brook cleared his throat and took on a mysterious expression, which made the crew stir uncomfortably. "It is said that a pirate ventured to this island on October 31st many decades ago seeking a great treasure. Not only was he denied his treasure…but he lost his crew and everything that was held dear to him."

"Uh, guys, my 'this party is a setup' disease is flaring up!" Usopp stammered. Usopp wasn't the only spooked Straw Hat, as Nami clung to Luffy's arm in fear…which he actually noticed.

"He was consumed with vengeance, seeking to terrorize all other pirates who dare come to the island seeking the same thing that he did," Brook continued. "Every Halloween, he goes after the pirates defiant enough to ignore the tales of his treachery and…disposes of them. It is said that there is only one way for a crew of pirates to silence the restless spirit of this demonic force. They must pay a penance…"

"Wh-what is it…?" Nami nervously whispered.

"It's simple…." Brook's voice lowered to a hoarse whisper. "Every female member of the pirate crew…"

Everyone leaned closer, both to hear Brook more clearly, and in interest of what this big secret was. The skeleton's expression became downright sinister.

"…must show the nearest skeleton their panties."

Seconds later, Brook was nothing but a pile of bones lying on the floor in a heap of pain, while Nami stood menacingly above him with a smoking fist raised.

"Don't you EVER scare me with one of your stupid jokes like that again!" Nami snarled. Even the lump improbably swelling from his afro couldn't stop Brook's boisterous laughter.

"Meh, it just sounds like a fairy tale to me. Why would pirates even come here on Halloween if they knew they were gonna disappear every year?" Luffy reasoned.

"Because most pirates are led by idiots who don't heed warnings no matter how serious they are," Nami spat, glaring pointedly at her captain.

"Oh come on, if there really is some devil guy, we'll just kick his ass like we always do!" Luffy reassured, playfully slapping Nami on her shoulder.

"Well I don't know about you guys, but I like my existence and would prefer to keep it as long as I can, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to pass on this party!" Usopp said. He turned around to head back to the ship, but Zoro grabbed his cape without even moving the rest of his body and swung Usopp in front of himself.

"Heh, I was just kidding!" Usopp warily chuckled. "You guys would be lost without my skill and bravery!"

"The whole story just sounded like an elaborate punchline from Brook anyway, so I don't know why you guys are still so worked up," Zoro reasoned. "Let's just enjoy ourselves for once. And drink."

A sinister, malicious smirk made its way to Zoro's face, which terrified the children more than any tale of demons or devils ever could have. "And besides, it's like Luffy said. If the story _is_ true, I'll cut down the devil himself!" Usopp swallowed heavily in his throat. Between Nami's costume (well, the concept of it), Zoro's….Zoroness, and all of the tales of devils, he was being reminded why he didn't like Halloween outside of the costume aspect.

Robin wasn't so sure that Brook's tale was merely a joke. After hearing the skeleton's full account, she realized that it actually sounded strikingly similar to a story she had once heard in the past. At the very least, it was something for her to be on the lookout for.

"Hey, Nami?" Luffy asked.

"Yeah?"

"You know you don't need to keep holding my arm anymore, right?"

* * *

After thanking the kids for giving them a shortcut, the Straw Hats entered the bar where the costume party was taking place. Lights of all colors illuminated the otherwise dark, murky establishment, accompanied by music blared over the speakers. The wacky Straw Hats were always an exception, but the sight of so many other vile pirates engaging in Halloween festivities was a strange one. Of course, they _were_ pirates, which meant ego and testosterone beat out "fun" more often than not, as exemplified by the wild brawls breaking out among the corners. Zoro immediately went to the counter to get started on his drunken crusade.

Sanji's vision morphed into that of a robot's so he could scan the bar for hotties. Having seen enough to please his eyes, the cook elatedly leaped into the air while the rest of the Straw Hats scattered, mostly to disassociate themselves from the lovestruck buffoon.

"Mellorine! Mellorine!" Sanji shouted, twirling towards scantily clad girl after scantily clad girl, complete unaware of most of their disgusted rebuffs.

"HALLOWEEN IS THE GREATEST DAY OF THE YEAR!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

Franky and Robin took a seat at the counter near Zoro. "How's about a drink for the pretty lady?!" Franky called out to the bartender. The large, hairy bartender chucked a mug of beer right at the cyborg, who then slid it over to Robin. The archaeologist graciously nodded at him. The two made quite the scene at the party, drawing a crowd that was composed partially of lewd pirates wanting to ogle Robin, along with pirates awestruck by a true-to-life Cyborg.

Luffy was traversing through all of the bodies cramped up in the bar, on the lookout for a menu to see if there was any meat. He grew annoyed throughout his search, though he soon smiled when his eyes caught a familiar face.

"Buggy!"

The frill-wearing, red-nosed clown gulped, simply looking out of the corner of his eye to avoid coming face to face with the identity of that distinct voice. _Of all of the flashy places!_ He said to himself while shaking uncomfortably in his seat at a table in the corner.

"I…I don't know who that is…" Buggy grit through his teeth.

Buggy squeaked when Luffy abruptly slung his arm around his shoulders and dropped his grinning face right next to his. "Oh, c'mon Buggy, I'd recognize that big, stupid nose anywhere! It's been two years, how've ya been?!"

"Don't speak to me so casually like we're buddies, Straw Hat!" Buggy barked. "I'm a Warlord of the Sea now, so I am your superior! Don't forget it!"

"Oh yeah, I heard about that!" Luffy replied. Much to Buggy's chagrin, Luffy sat down next to him to make himself more comfortable. "So does your new crew boss you around or is it the other way?"

"I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT MY BRAVERY AT THE BATTLE OF MARINEFORD HAS THOSE GUYS FLASHILY HANGING UPON MY EVERY WORD!" Buggy defensively yelled, drawing the nearby pirates' attention. Luffy simply laughed at Buggy's irritability. "I know, it's a hard concept for a guy like you to grasp, to actually guide your crew and command respect from them, but I, Lord Buggy, am a true leader!"

"Your crew must've been the big goons dressed like clowns that I saw guarding the door outside. I recognized some of them from Impel Down!" Luffy remarked, pointing to the door. "Must be keeping watch for that Devil dude."

Buggy spewed his beer out all over the walls. Not that it was first time hearing of the mysterious Devil figure, but Luffy knowing about it too was displeasing. _Damn that Straw Hat! Little does he know, I'm hosting this year's party to gather all of the Pirates as bait for this Devil guy and prove to the World Government I'm still not working with other Pirates under the table! This idiot is sure to screw all of that up!_

"Aww, don't tell me you're scared!" Luffy taunted.

"Scared, I-"

" _Luuuuuuuuuffyyyyyyyyyyyy!"_

A loud, singing voice nearly made Luffy's eardrums burst. He turned around to find what the annoyance was and saw a tall, long-haired beauty wearing a clown costume, smirking and posing suggestively at him. The Straw Hat Captain was confused; it couldn't have been Hancock, since her voice was different and she wasn't as tall. So why was she looking at him like that?

"Uh…who are you again?" Luffy's brows furrowed while he tried to connect the dots.

The woman sighed and slumped her shoulders in despair, deflated by Luffy's lack of familiarity. "L-Luffy…don't you know who I am, my love?"

"Dammit Alvida, cut the crap!" Buggy sneered, with just the tiniest hint of jealousy.

Luffy's face lit up, his memory being jogged after Buggy said her name. "Oh, the fat lady who ate that Devil Fruit and got skinny!"

Alvida's cheeks flushed red enough to match her face paint while she smiled affectionately at Luffy's bluntness. "Don't try to flatter me, Luffy…!"

While Alivda commenced to _Operation: Seduce Luffy_ , a voice blared over the bar's speakers.

"Attention Pirates, criminals, pillagers, and other general scumbags and dressed-up pieces of _SHIT!_ The partners' costume contest will commence in 15 minutes! There's still time for late entries to sign up! Winning pair gets 50,000 Berries!"

"50,000 Berries?!" Nami greedily echoed, money gleaming in her eyes. Nothing involving a monetary prize could slip past her fingers. She scanned the bar in search of the other Straw Hats – Zoro was obviously out of the question, Sanji was too busy striking out with female pirates, Brook was annihilating the Karaoke competition, Chopper was doing Frankenstein impressions, Usopp was recounting (and embellishing) his adventures in Dressrosa to legions of other pirates, Franky and Robin looked pretty cozy at the counter, and Luffy was…

"Wait, what the hell?!"

Okay, so Luffy's annoyed glare and grit teeth made it clear that he was extremely uncomfortable with the situation, but seeing Alvida leaning seductively over him with her leg perched on the edge of the table and her hands pressed at either side of him lit up a fire inside Nami that only her costume's namesake could summon. Nami stormed to the table and rudely shoved Alivda off of her captain.

"Luffy, you're entering the costume contest with me," Nami directed, pulling Luffy off of his chair.

"Why?" Luffy asked while she dragged him away. However, another hand grabbed his other arm.

"Well excuse me, miss, but I don't recall you being the one who makes decisions," Alvida spat, ignoring Buggy's protests. "Besides, it won't fit for someone dressed up like a great hero to be matched with such a…" she snorted in disgust, "… _harlot_!"

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to?!" Nami growled. Her temper made her unwittingly squeeze Luffy's wrist.

"Not much, obviously. Now let Luffy go so we can win the contest!" Alvida pulled Luffy in her direction, but with Nami's firm grip it just made his arms stretch out.

"No, he's _mine_!" Nami shouted, pulling Luffy towards herself. She stopped and blushed when she realized that sounded more possessive than she'd intended.

"This really huuuuuurts," Luffy groaned. Both of his arms were stretched pretty far out, and the firm grips that the angry women had locked on each of his wrists certainly weren't helping.

Alvida was the first to let go of Luffy and soothingly grabbed his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Luffy! I didn't mean to-!"

Nami mischievously smirked. _Gotcha!_ With Alivda's grip halted, Nami pulled Luffy and hauled off with him like loot. Alvida huffed and childishly stomped her feet, once again losing out on a chance to take Luffy.

Buggy cleared his throat and slid next to Alivda. "Well there goes that rubber idiot. Guess you're gonna need a new partner, huh?" He fluttered his eyes, although that face of his just made him look more creepy than adorable.

"Whatever," Alvida sighed. Buggy triumphantly raised his fists. Besides, since he was the host he could just rig the votes so they'd win!

Nami let Luffy go when she reached the sign-up line. Luffy dusted off his clothes and wrenched his arms a few times to get the feeling back in them. "Jeez Nami, you sure seemed jealous back there."

"Jealous? I have no idea what you're even talking about," Nami fibbed, defensively folding her arms over her ample chest. Her red face was betraying her actual disposition.

"Okaaaay," Luffy sang distrustfully, to Nami's annoyance. "But I was gonna go with you anyway."

"Really?" Nami asked with a hint of a smile.

"Of course! You've got the best costume here, and besides, that fat lady gives me the creeps."

Since the rest of the Straw Hats weren't nearby, she decided this would be a good time to touch on Luffy's displays of affection for her costume. "So, Luffy…why do you like my costume so much compared to the other girls'? I'm not the only one showing a lot of skin here."

Nami didn't miss the drops of sweat on Luffy's forehead while he grasped his chin in thought. "I dunno…you just look really pretty, I guess."

Nam giggled, appreciating Luffy's compliment and adoring his flustered behavior. Despite his wackiness, she was always fonder of the Captain than she'd let on, so she was pleased to see that he wasn't just an asexual goof. There was a spark there yet.

When Luffy's eyes trailed down to her chest, he gulped and averted his glance. "Whoops, sorry! Do I owe you money for that?"

"That's your one free look!" Nami playfully replied with a finger raised.

* * *

Outside, a few of Buggy's more intimidating pirates were standing by bar's doors to maintain the illusion of control. Their captain wholeheartedly believed in the fable of the Devil lurking around Beezlea during Halloween, and they followed suit in return. The plan was that as soon as any especially strange looking creature approached the bar, they'd alert Buggy so they could haul the rest of the crew out while letting all of the other pirates suffer. Aside from the expected round of peculiar costumes, nothing appeared that aroused their suspicions.

A rather slovenly, rotund man was the latest guest to step to the bar's entrance. Wearing a black suit and a spiky set of red hair, the man was sucking enough air to fill dozens of balloons and his hands were stuffed with anatomy-themed sweets.

"Hey, is this the party where they have lotsa candy?" he wheezed through his shrill voice.

"Looks like you've got enough there already, fatboy," one of Buggy's pirates mocked. "Go find somewhere else to eat!"

"Are you making fun of me?" the fat man demanded, his voice becoming a low growl.

"What, you can't hear him over all of that chewing, kid?" another of Buggy's pirates asked. "Piss off!"

"DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME!"

The portly glutton screamed at the top of his lungs like a toddler in a severe temper tantrum and raised both of his arms forward, aiming them at Buggy's pirates. Suddenly, a strange, powder-like stream emerged from them and engulfed the crew of clowns. They started coughing, both agitated and confused while the fat man resumed firing the unknown substance with more vigor. One by one, the pirates stiffened and fell to the ground. Their bodies were becoming severely distorted, shrinking in size while their limbs mended into rounder shapes. The pupils in their eyes expanded as well, leaving the group resembling a collection of toys rather than pirates.

The sweet-toothed demon smiled ravenously and gathered the befallen pirates into the pile of sweets lying in his clutches.

"YAHOO! MORE CANDY!"

The large man merrily slammed himself into the bar's doors, breaking them down in mere seconds and leaving a loud thud in their wake. The noisy impact captured the attention of all of the pirates gathered up for the party. He stepped into the doorway, seemingly undaunted by how his immense height made his head brush against the wooden ceiling.

"Pirates…every last one of you are pirates…!"

Zoro put his mug of booze down and clutched his swords. "Well then, looks like the _real_ party's about to start," he said with a smirk consumed with bloodlust.

The childish man was heaving deep breaths, his rage - and hunger - growing by the second at the mere sight of this many pirates. Even as they were scattered around the bar, the Straw Hats looked around and nodded at each other. They weren't the only pirates ready for a fight, of course. While Zoro drew his sword, another pirate brushed past him and sloppily charged after the large man, swinging a kick with enough velocity to do some serious damage.

But when he struck, the balloon-like figure dissolved into a stream of white particles.

"A Devil Fruit user…?!" Zoro gasped.

He reassembled right behind the drunken pirate. Since his hands were still stuffed with candy figurines, he delivered a brutal kick into the man's spine, sending him crashing through one of the bar's walls. Whether it was recognizing a threat, bloodlust, or inebriation (probably a combination of the three), a legion of other pirates save for about a dozen all darted to the mysterious man. He calmly turned around with a pleased smile on his face and fired another round of white dust, aimed with precision at the bundle of pirates closing in on him. As with Buggy's men, their bodies stiffened and shrunk, then sank to the floor.

Usopp's legs were quivering from how frightened he was. "What the hell is this guy…?!"

"Cluhuhuhuhuhuhu! I was waiting for somebody to ask that one!" the red-haired man cackled while stuffing the fallen figures of pirates in his pockets. "My name is Louis D. Cypher! I ate the Sweet-Sweet Fruit so now my entire body is made of sugar! I can turn anything I touch into candy!"

"You can turn stuff into candy?! That's…that's so **cool**!" Luffy marveled, his eyes sparkling and his mouth watering.

"This isn't the time!" Nami and Sanji both pounced on the one-track-minded captain.

Cypher grabbed the neck of one of the few pirates that missed the stream of sugar and lifted him up. The pirate was trying his damndest to escape from his grip, but it was so tight that it was an exercise in losing his head. Cypher's lips widened into an unsettling smirk as he squeezed even tighter.

"Like so."

Cypher's hand morphed into a white cluster of sugar, one which enveloped the seized pirate's squirming figure. His limbs straightened at his sides and stiffened. His screaming became more tortured and piercing as his limbs contracted, ringing through the ears of the few remaining pirates and disturbing several of the Straw Hats. When the sugar faded away, the once animated pirate was left a literal figurine. And as if he hadn't made his point clear enough, he gruesomely chowed down on the pirate's head and stuffed the rest of the body into his mouth, drawing repulsed gags and gasps.

"N-no way…!" Nami murmured, bringing a hand to her mouth to hide her revulsion. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Luffy shaking with fury, his goofy and amazed demeanor from just moments ago now ancient history. She quickly grabbed a hold of his arm just to reign in his anger.

"Louis Cypher, huh?" Zoro remarked. "So is this the _'Devil,'_ Brook?"

"So it seems…"

"The Devil, really?!" Buggy shrieked. His head became drenched in sweat when he realized that some of the candy figurines were dressed up like clowns, meaning his crew fell victim to Cypher's powers as well. "Dammit, this was _not_ part of the plan!"

"Plan? What plan?" Luffy asked, looking over his back at Buggy.

"Oh, nothing…! I guess I'm just so scared I'm stumbling on my words and blurting things out!" Buggy stammered, putting on a faux-innocent smile. "But that's not important. If I knew this big, dumb buffoon was the man responsible for the disappearances of pirates on this island, I would've had my boys nip him in the bud a long time ago!"

"What did you just call me?!" Cypher growled. He was so consumed with anger that his right foot dug itself into the wooden floor. After dropping the candy-fied remains of the pirate, he raced after Buggy with startling agility. Buggy cried one of his shrill screams and used his Chop-Chop powers to split himself in half to avoid Cypher's wildly swinging fists. Cypher barreled into a wall, not reacting fast enough to simply dissolve into sugar and avoid crashing.

"I've got you now!" Buggy shouted. The clown retrieved his trusty dagger and shot his levitating hand out at Cypher to deliver a fatal blow to his heart, deciding that his life was worth a lot more than the government's trust.

Unfortunately for Buggy, Cypher _did_ react fast enough to his hand and dagger to dissolve into sugar. But rather than fly through the substance and stab into the wall like Buggy was expecting, his hand remained suspended in the air while the cloud of sugar engulfed it. Moments later, it dropped to the floor and Cypher reformed himself into a human. He picked up Buggy's hand, which was now shinier and stubbier. Buggy attempted to retract his hand back to his body…but it wasn't working! Cypher yelled that insufferable laugh while Buggy grew befuddled by his predicament, and then picked his hand up from the floor.

"Say bye-bye to your hand, red-nose!" Cypher taunted. Before Buggy could address the insult to his nose, Cypher chomped down on his newly candy-coated arm. While he couldn't control where his hand moved anymore, Buggy sure as hell still registered pain from it, because when he felt Cypher's rotten teeth clamp down and start chewing, it was among the most agonizing experiences of his life. He sank to his knees, screamingly loudly at the pain as Cypher engorged himself on his limb.

Luckily for Buggy it was all short-lived. A certain outstretched, rubber arm delivered a staggering punch right to the jaw of Cypher, rocketing him into the ceiling with such force that his immense upper body lodged into it. Luffy was thoroughly pissed; yeah, sure, the power was still totally cool, but not like this, and certainly not at the expense of someone he considered a friend (in the loosest sense, of course).

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Luffy seethed. "It's Halloween! There's plenty of regular candy for you to eat!"

After struggling to remove his massive frame from the ceiling, Cypher opted to reduce himself to sugar instead to return to the floor. His eyes turned into bulging, red orbs as anger coursed through him yet again.

"Unlike pirates, regular candy didn't ruin my life!" Cypher shrieked. Memories of his past began to fill his mind, blackening his disposition even further.

"The hell are you talking about?" Sanji questioned.

Cypher grew angrier, so much that his body actually started swelling up. The rest of the Straw Hats were on guard, fully prepared for a violent outburst. Zoro had his three swords unleashed in a flash, Brook had his cane raised over his shoulder, Robin crossed her arms over her chest, Sniper King …er, Usopp had his Kuro Kabuto in one hand and a bag of plants in the other, Sanji was subtly rubbing his right foot against the hardwood floor, Franky dropped his toy gun, Nami had her Clima-Tact perched to the floor, and Chopper…well, he was already in his human form anyway, so no elaboration needed there!

However, the preparation wound up being for naught when Cypher sank to his knees and…started crying? Not that such an act was anything unusual coming from the juvenile balloon of a man, but it was a rather sudden shift in mood. His loud whines and sniffling were like nails on a chalkboard.

"I…I used to have it all! In fact, I used to be quite the stud back in the old days!" he blubbered.

"Doubtful," Nami muttered.

"While most pirates had the One Piece...I had the Golden Badge!" Cypher continued. "I came to this island seeking all of the candy a man could dream of and more, and instead I lost everything!"

"Don't tell me this is all over candy?!" Sanji incredulously asked.

"Shut up, you swirly-browed bastard!" Cypher cried, drawing so much ire from Sanji that Zoro had to tug his arm to restrain him. "You wouldn't know true pain…until you've seen the hell that I've experienced…" Cypher's words trailed off, as he recalled those events as vividly as if they'd just happened the day before….

 _It was a bright summer day, yet another moment of peace and retreat for the Sawtooth Pirates. A portly young man with spiky, red hair, decidedly_ _ **not**_ _the stud that Cypher had described in the present, merrily skipped along a beautiful strip of grass, stuffing his mouth with chocolate parfait after chocolate parfait, jawbreaker after jawbreaker, jelly bean after jel – oh, you get the freaking point. This was a guy who really loved his sweets. He was so busy engorging himself with unhealthy candy that he didn't notice his four crewmates' scornful gazes._

" _If I buy enough Mikey Mage candy, I'll find the Golden Badge in no time!" he cheered with candy spilling out of his mouth. "And then…I'll meet Mikey Mage and get a lifetime supply of_ _ **CANDY!**_ _"_

 _The Golden Ticket – a contest announced on a flier in front of the candy shop that was practically his second home a few weeks ago. Hidden in five special Mikey Mage Candy wrappers were shiny, golden badges. Those lucky enough to find the Badge would earn an invitation to the Mikey Mage Factory located on the island of Beelzea, where they would take a tour hosted by the man himself and be given enough candy to last them a lifetime._

 _While Cypher kept ravenously eating his candy, his crewmates discussed amongst themselves his disgusting eating habits._

" _Ugh, think he'll finally find one of those badges, Corbin?" a girl asked to the tall, blue-haired man sitting behind her._

" _I hope so. I had to scatter 'em so we can be convincing, but I'm sure he'll find it soon, with his sweet tooth. Taffy will buy all of the candy he can get, so he'll find one of them," Corbin replied. Yes, that was Louis D. Cypher's real name – Louis Taffy. No pun-tastic Devil allusion, no D. initial. The rest of the crew continued to observe their pig of a partner, hopeful that their plan would actually work._

 _A day later, Cypher…er, Taffy bounced onto the Sawtooths' ship, disturbing his other crewmates out of their slumber. His smile was shining brighter than the sun…and was dirtier than muddy grounds thanks to the specks of chocolate lodged in his teeth. He was jumping around and cheering, drawing the rest of the crew outside to see what the ruckus was about._

" _You guys…I found it! I found the Golden Badge!"_

"' _Bout time…" Corbin muttered._

 _At a speed that should have been impossible for a man of his size, Taffy ran inside to find the helm of the ship and steer it in the direction of the island that the design inside of the badge showed. While the crew was normally annoyed by his hastiness, they had to allow it for today in order for the plan to work out._

" _MI-KEY MAGE! MI-KEY MAGE! MI-KEY MAGE!" Taffy cheered as he ran back outside._

 _Several days of sailing and treachery later, they finally made it to Beelzea, the alleged land of candy and various other wonders. Taffy was so overexcited he stumbled over the ship's rail and had to be rescued out of the ocean by his crew._

" _So uh…where's the factory?"_

 _When they made it to shore, all they found was a rather drab, old town. Taffy scrambled from building to building, asking people if they knew where Mikey Mage's Factory was, but they all looked completely confused. The rest of the Sawtooths were rather nonplussed about the whole thing._

 _After hours of searching, Taffy dragged himself back to shore, with the rest of the crew following. He wasn't even in the mood to eat, shockingly enough._

" _I just don't get it. Maybe we had the wrong coordinates…?"_

 _Corbin cleared his throat. "We're at the right place, but…"_

" _BUT WHAT?!" Taffy yelled, restlessly grabbing Corbin by his collar and spraying spit all over his face._

 _Corbin peevishly brushed Taffy's hand off of his shirt and wiped the saliva from his face. "There isn't a Candy Factory here or anywhere!"_

" _What are you talking about?!" Taffy cried. "The competition, the badge-"_

" _It was all a sham that we made up!" Corbin confessed._

" _Made up?" Taffy murmured. As realization hit him, his anger grew. He ran at Corbin like a bull, but the blue-haired pirate swiftly evaded him and slammed him to the ground._

" _Taffy, let's face it: you are way too goddamn fat." Corbin sure as hell wasn't mincing his words._

" _Whaddaya mean, fat?" Taffy whined as his face was mushed against ground. "I…I'm just big boned, that's all."_

" _Semantics aside, you've been a nuisance to us since you stopped caring about your weight. I can't even count how much treasure we've lost out on from having to drag you around, so we're kicking you out of the crew. Maybe if you can shed a few pounds and build yourself a ship, you can return to us, but for now, you're all on your own."_

 _The reality of the situation gradually became clearer when the crew returned to their ship and sailed away. Taffy's face was a mess of dirt and tears as he slowly realized what he was losing. His hometown, his crew….his candy! What was he to do while stuck on an island he'd never been to?! How was he going to meet his hero, Mikey Mage?! He furiously slammed his fists against the dirt and whimpered._

" _ **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-**_

-"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Cypher (that's his name now, isn't it?!) was so wrapped up in his truly traumatic flashback that he screamed out like he was living it all over again, oblivious to the bewildered stares of Buggy and the Straw Hats.

"Th-they may have deprived me of candy and made me turn into a skinny little wimp," Cypher recalled, his whiny frown curling into a sinister smirk, "But I soon discovered the Sweet-Sweet Fruit on this island! I learned how to use my new sugar powers to turn everything into candy! I made enough sweets to start my _own_ candy business!" The other pirates were yawning and dozing off, not particularly moved by this sob story.

His joy melted into fury once more. "…But then pirates stole all of my money and I had to close my store down. I became so lonely…no longer was I the jovial, fun-loving boy that I once was!" What he had left out, however, was the fact that he was killing their profits by eating half of the candy for himself, and when his employees and his business partners wanted to leave in protest, he wouldn't take no for an answer. With no other options, a couple of his business partners teamed up with pirates who ensured they got their well-deserved profits, and then left to continue the business on their own.

"Pirates took all of my candy from me, so now I'll just have to make candy out of _them!_ " Cypher resolved.

"So lemme get this straight," said Nami, who was thoroughly annoyed. "So basically, what's happening right now – all these pirates dying one by one – is just you throwing a temper tantrum and going through an emo phase because your old crew forced you to stop stuffing your face? Are you _**fucking**_ _KIDDING ME?!"_

And as if things weren't stupid enough already, she overheard a familiar voice loudly whimpering behind her. She turned around and was both irritated and unsurprised by who it was coming from.

"Dammit, Franky!" she, Zoro, Sanji, and Usopp all shouted.

"I…I'm sorry….!" Franky cried. He took his shades off and wiped away the tears that were streaming down his face. "It's just, his story was so touching! To spend your life loving something so pure, and then chase after it so ambitiously, only to have its ultimate form and treasure taken away from you by your own friends. And then, lurking by your lonesome with nothing else to your name, being left to toil away in obscurity away from everyone you knew and loved…SOCIETY CAN BE SO CRUEL!" The robot's eyes erupted with more tears while he loudly wailed to the sky.

"SEE, THE CYBORG UNDERSTANDS!"

The two blubbering giants embraced and let the manly tears flow, completely forgetting they were supposed to be opposing each other. A few fists from Nami set everything straight.

Luffy mashed his fist into his other palm, a feisty smirk growing on his face. "Well, if he wants to get rid of all of us pirates, I guess there's only one thing we can do!"

"Run like hell!" Buggy yelled. He turned tail and darted out of the bar…until he remembered his hand. "Never mind," he groaned as he walked back inside.

"There's only one guy to go around, so how do you suppose we figure out who gets to have all of the fun, Luffy?" Zoro asked, tying his bandana over his hair.

"Let's find out…" Luffy replied, his voice almost a low growl.

Nami cringed at the sound of her two crewmates' voices, and her concern only rose when she saw Sanji and Franky approach the two with competitive faces as well.

"You guys, don't be ridiculous! Now's not the time to start some macho brawl over first dibs!" Nami protested. It was always like this; she, Robin, Chopper, and Usopp were the only sane ones. There was no getting through to the other four, who were craning their necks and cracking their fists together. Things were about to get even messier.

After all, Rock-Paper-Scissors was serious business.

Nami, Usopp, and Chopper lay incredulously on the floor while their four crewmates kept playing the tried-and-true decision-making game. Even Cypher had forgotten his early anger while he bemusedly watched them play.

After a few tremendously intense rounds, Luffy's trusted rock came out on top. "Woo-hoo, I win!" The other three cursed their hands and stepped aside.

"Alright, Tubby-Devil, let's do this!" Luffy challenged, tightening the blue sash of his Goku costume.

Luffy sprinted at "Tubby-Devil" and easily evaded the stream of sugar sprayed in his direction. He swung his fist out at him, but Cypher leaped out of the way with startling finesse and kicked Luffy right into the ceiling. While the physical blow didn't deal too much pain to the Rubber-Man, the impact still surprised him. As Luffy fell to the floor, Cypher, hopped up and slammed both of his legs into his waist, knocking him into the bar's shelf and making him crash into hundreds of beer and wine bottles, which _did_ hurt. Luffy fell to the floor in a heap behind the counter, stunning the other pirates.

When Luffy didn't show any signs of getting up within the seconds that followed, Zoro and Sanji took that as their cues to strike – not that it was a mutual decision between the two, of course. They were moving fast, but Cypher's confidence didn't waver. Instead, he smirked at them and turned into sugar yet again, though this didn't deter Sanji and Zoro at all. Armament Haki was an easy counter to this guy's powers, so they found his smugness unwarranted.

When Sanji and Zoro unleashed their haki-infused strikes upon the cloud of sugar, Cypher expectedly returned to his physical form…but instead of taking damage, he hardened his entire body to absorb their impact! Sanji and Zoro's confidence fell into perplexity.

"Quick little bastard…!" Zoro seethed.

"He uses Haki too?!" Sanji yelled.

"Cluhuhuhuhuhu! Sweet-Sweet…JAWBREAKER!"

Cypher used the power of Armament Haki to harden his entire body and enveloped himself in sugar, effectively turning himself into a literal jawbreaker. Moving so fast he virtually vanished, Cypher slammed his body into Zoro and Sanji's, blasting them into the wall so hard they broke through it and fell outside.

"Whelp, guess it's Franky's time to shine!" The Cyborg terminator turned around to look at his Straw Hat allies, a stern expression on his face.

"I'll be back."

Usopp, Chopper, Brook and yes, even Buggy, nearly fell to the floor in awe and amusement of Franky's routine. Even Robin giggled, though Nami was less than thrilled considering the gravity of the situation.

"Strong Right!" Franky shouted before firing his massive, retractable arm at Cypher. However, the sweet-toothed Demon released a stream of sugar at Franky's fist, making it shrink and go limp.

"Aw shit, guess me and Clown Dude oughta start a line of limb candy, huh?" Franky wisecracked while trying to retract his now useless right hand.

"Cluhuhuhuhu! Don't you foolish pirates see that your attacks are useless against a Candy Man?!" Cypher boasted. He unleashed another Jawbreaker Attack, this one formidable enough to overpower even Franky's cybernetic body. Nami was shaking with anger, both at the situation and the fact that the four toughest Straw Hats were clearly still in warm-up mode. If they didn't start taking things seriously, everything would get irrevocably out of hand.

Cypher laughed yet again and jumped up high, this time completely bursting through the ceiling and ascending high into the air while all the remains of Buggy's crew and the Straw Hats could do was look up.

"I came here to eat, not to fight!" Cypher's voice boomed. "I'm getting' this crap over with!"

Nami squinted to get a clear view of the hole in the ceiling and squealed when she saw the giant ball of sugar that was rapidly expanding over Cypher's head. She looked to the other Straw Hats.

"Guys, watch ou-"

"SUGAR BOMB!"

The massive ball of sugar slammed into the bar and ripped it apart. Despite the element it was composed of, the sugar ball was as hard as stone, and very powerful – the impact of it smashing the bar and virtually reducing it to a pile of wood chips, injuring all of those in its path. Before it hit completely, Cypher snuck through the hole in the roof to grab a figure…

The Sugar Bomb left a trail of destruction in its wake. Buried beneath all of the rubble were the bodies of the pirates, including the Straw Hats. The chips of wood that covered the ground were stiff and coated in sugar, with the bodies taking on a similar appearance. What happened was obvious – the giant Sugar Bomb had turned every last thing into candy!

Except for one certain female pirate who was dressed like the Devil, however. She was curiously in the clutches of the wannabe Devil, which sure as hell wasn't good for her breathing.

"What…the hell…?" Nami stammered against Cypher's puffy stomach.

Cypher's smile turned lecherous. "Hey there, sexy Devil lady! Like that I kept you safe?"

"Huh?"

"How would you like to become the Queen of Darkness?" he suggestively offered as that insidious chuckle grew.

Nami took a few wary steps away from the slovenly candy-fighter, especially given how clear the intentions behind his offer were. _Dammit, why'd I have to make myself look so friggin' hot?!_

However, Nami stayed firm in the face of danger and threateningly stuck out the Clima-Tact. "Back off!"

All rationality went out the window, though, when Cypher flicked his grotesque tongue along Nami's face. Nami's eyes rivaled that of a real devil when she shouted in fury and slammed her foot right into Cypher's groin. The glutton doubled over in pain and stuck both hands in his nether regions to soothe the fire that was blazing them.

"Vile…witch…!" he groveled. He shakily reached one of his hands out and grabbed Nami by her arm. "I-I'll make you pay for that…!"

Nami was prepared to defend herself, even though it was assuredly a futile task. Watching her fellow crew get turned into candy threw rationality out of the window. Just as she was getting ready to strike, however, a mysterious surge of energy slammed into Cypher and knocked him off of Nami, releasing her from his clutches.

Nami looked over at where that impact came from and was flabbergasted when she saw a familiar lean body emerge from the pile of sugar-coated rubble.

"Luffy…but how?!"

Luffy's body was soaked in water, alcohol and other assorted liquids, along with cuts and shards of glass lodged in his skin. He may have been hurting, but it was nothing compared to the fury brimming within him and clouding his eyes.

"Don't you touch my Navigator!" Luffy threatened.

Cypher was left aghast as he watched Luffy's methodical approach towards him. "I don't get it….! Why didn't you turn into candy like the others?! Who in the hell are you?!"

"All you need to know is that I'm the man who will be King of the Pirates, and Nami would never join a stupid fake Devil like you," Luffy seethed. "If she's gonna be Queen of anything, it's pirates, so back off!"

"What?" Nami whispered. She wasn't sure what Luffy was trying to imply with his remark, but it nearly made her forget the entire situation at hand. Her heart was beating just a little bit faster than usual.

"Just answer me, pirate! Why didn't my power work on you?!"

"I dunno, just shut up and fight! When I'm done beating the crap out of you I guess I'll just have to force you to turn my crew back to normal." That's what Luffy was most furious about – the rest of the crew besides Nami was reduced to candy figurines just like the other pirates. He felt an immense amount of shame for not nipping this guy in the bud before he could do significant damage.

Luffy cocked his fist back and stretched out his arm. "GUM-GUM…"

Cypher smirked at the futility of Luffy attempting a physical attack. _Hasn't this dumbass been paying attention?! I'm sugar!_

"…PISTOL!"

Luffy fired his signature punch at Cypher, unbothered by Cypher's sugar powers even while declining to infuse his fist with armament Haki. He was conducting a test while his brain worked in overdrive to figure out the secret behind his immunity to the Sugar Bomb's effects. When Cypher dissolved into sugar yet again, Luffy didn't react.

What happened next was weird. Luffy's fist connected with the cloud of sugar, but it didn't push through it like what happened when Buggy tried to stab Cypher. Instead, the sugar dispersed like it vanished entirely. Cypher suddenly reverted to his physical form…and a chunk of his face was missing!

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Cypher, Luffy, and Nami were all equally surprised. However, it was only Nami who actually realized what occurred. She wanted to slap herself upside her head for not figuring it out sooner. _He's sorta like an inverted Crocodile_ , she reasoned to herself. And on top of that, his elemental power was sugar, which meant it had the same weakness as the Bubble-Bubble Fruit's powers!

"MUH FACE! WHAT'D YA JUST DO TUH IT?!" Cypher cried. Half of his left cheek was completely gone, which altered his speaking among other things. His face was contorted, clearly wracked with immense pain and discomfort.

"I just told you I don't know, so stop asking me!" Luffy yelled. He was just as horrified by Cypher's mangled face as he was!

"It's simple: sugar dissolves in water!" Nami declared. "And since Luffy's covered in all of that alcohol and water, he eradicated your sugar particles. I think I just figured you out, Weird Devil Guy!" Ah, the wonders of Science, courtesy of an author's limited grasp of it!

With renewed confidence, Nami broke the Clima-Tact open. A puffy storm cloud shot out from it and positioned itself above the pirates. Luffy was well aware of what Nami was up to and smirked, while Cypher just watched the display in fascination.

"RAIN TEMPO!"

A shower of rain cascaded from the cloud, soaking the three who remained. Nami confidently smiled when she saw how Cypher squirmed. All of those years of living in obscurity made him completely oblivious to his major weakness.

"Better not turn yourself into sugar unless you plan on dying," Nami threatened.

"Heh, I guess it's just a straight-up fight now," Luffy said. He was cracking his fists again with a wide grin.

Nami raised an eyebrow when she heard what sounded like grunts coming from the piles of wood. In fact, the wood had lost its sugar coating and resembled its natural form. And that wasn't the weirdest part – were Cypher's pants…expanding?!

"What's happ'nin' tuh mah pockets?!" Cypher murmured.

"Wait, I think I know what's happening!" Nami said. Sure enough, groggy bodies emerged from the piles of wood – bodies that had been candy just a few minutes earlier. "The sugar wearing off is turning everyone back!"

"AWESOME! The crew's back to normal!" Luffy cheered. "Good job, Nami!"

Cypher's pants exploded into a mess of ripped fabric when dozens of pirates who had been stuffed into his pockets popped back to their original forms. While the pirates regained their bearings, more bodies joined the scene. After the bar was destroyed, Beelzea's citizens were fleeing to the spot to check out what was going on. Among them were the four children who led the Straw Hats to the bar.

"M-muh candy….!" Cypher blubbered, oblivious to his lack of pants and the nauseated glares it brought his way. "Muh candy….! MUH CANDY!"

Cypher desperately looked around, his vision blowing past the legion of grossed out pirates in search of any sign of candy. Hell, he was trying to listen closely just so he could _hear_ candy wrappers. It was his nose that came to his rescue, however, as it picked up the intoxicating scent of sugary sweetness. His eyes darted to the four costumed children among the crowd of people – more specifically, their pumpkin buckets.

"GIMME!" He bellowed before ravenously flying at the horrified children. It was clear that they were going to be in for a lot more than stolen candy from the irrational sugar-addicted demon.

"36-CALIBER PHOENIX!"

Several gusts of air slashed into the back of cypher, sending him crashing to the ground before he could strike. They looked up and witnessed the furious face of one Roronoa Zoro, the man who had scared them out of their wits earlier in the night. Fortunately, Zoro's face relaxed once he saw the kids were safe.

"Th-thanks," the boy in the vampire costume stuttered.

"Good to see you guys back, Zoro!" Luffy said.

"That stupid pig really turned us all into candy, did he?" Zoro questioned. "How ridiculous!"

"I'd say it was an improvement for you, Zoro," Sanji snickered from behind him as he lit up a cigarette. Franky and Brook engaged in a few celebratory poses to show their joy over regaining their physical bodies.

"Oh, you'll be next," Zoro replied with a smile.

Cypher slowly made it back up to his feet…and bending over in order to lift himself up earned him hundreds of disgusted groans from a bunch of pirates who were looking at way more of his trouser-less body than they'd ever want to see.

"Put some damn pants on!

"Disgusting!"

"Caution: Wide Load!"

Since he was wearing his burgundy shorts below them, Chopper took off his black pants, deciding that his eyesight was far more important than maintaining his Frankenstein costume. "Just put mine on, dammit!" He tossed the pants at Cypher's bloated backside.

Despite the physical and emotional pain…Cypher _was_ cold without his pants, so he complied and squeezed them on. Yeah, the zipper broke and a few buttons popped, but it got the job done. However, his trouser situation was immaterial to the disruption of his candy-making powers. His angry gaze settled on Nami, the vile woman whose weather trickery foiled his plan in the first place.

"You…you evil witch!" Cypher seethed, threateningly approaching Nami. He jumped after her, and the rest of the Straw Hats were too scattered about to quickly come to her defense. Nami fearfully raised her arms…

Until a dagger dug itself right into Chypher's back until it was sticking out from his massive abdomen.

"Holy crap, Buggy!" Luffy shouted in disbelief of his old rival.

The Clown was panting heavily, as the mere prospect of doing something like he just did had sucked away all of his energy. That was his payback for getting turned into candy – using his floating hand, the same one that Cypher had chowed down on, to stab his fat ass when he didn't see it coming!

Cypher somehow managed to pick the dagger out from his back, but not before coughing out a mouthful of blood. He turned around to find out who had attacked him, and when Buggy got a look at his dark scowl, well…let's just say it was a good thing the clown captain was wearing dark pants. _Curse my situational bravery!_

The wannabe devil was ready to make Buggy suffer for nearly ending his life, but another brave warrior of the sea had other plans. Sniper King…er, Usopp, exchanged some knowing glances with his Straw Hat cohorts. Since Nami still had her rain cloud unleashed, Cypher's best power was useless and in his flustered mental state he was going to be easy to exploit. Usopp dug a few old items from his bag and then pulled out his trusty slingshot.

"SPECIAL ATTACK…CANDY STAR!"

"Candy?!" Hell, Cypher's eyes had even morphed into candy! What was left of his mouth was spilling drool. The big buffoon easily took the bait of Usopp's pink and green jawbreaker-like pellets and dove right at them. These weren't ordinary jawbreakers, however. After all, regular candy didn't sprout human arms! There were six jawbreakers in front of Cypher, which also meant six arms reaching out at him! The arms grabbed his four limbs and his head for good measure.

"Seis Fleur…CLUTCH!"

The hands bent in a variety of directions and crushed the bones of Cypher's bloated limbs, making him wail in agony. Robin winked at Usopp while her hands were crossed. Her hand techniques never failed! She glanced at Brook and Zoro, who both nodded. Brook unleashed his sword, concealed in his cane of course, and leaped into the air with Zoro. While twirling downward, the pair of Swordsmen tore at Cypher's chest with lethal strikes that sent him flying backwards into a flaming kick to the spine courtesy of Sanji. Cypher was launched high into the sky, and it was about to get even worse.

"Jumping Point!" Chopper yelled before his bulky human form slimmed down and grew several inches in height. He leaped so high into sky he was a few feet above Cypher, who was close to the peak of his ascent.

"Kung-fu Point!" Chopper's body shrunk but ballooned in mass, and he unleashed a storm of strikes upon Cypher's massive frame. Chopper tumbled downward, and as he fell to the ground below Cypher, he folded his arms and chuckled.

"You are already dead!"

Yeah, yeah, Cypher didn't suddenly burst into a mass of blood and guts, but Chopper _really_ wanted to say it, okay?!

As Cypher fell rapidly downward, Luffy turned to Franky. "Hey, I've got an idea! It's reeeeeaaallly cool!" He whispered it in Franky's ear, making the Cyborg spring up in excitement.

"Oh really? _SUPER!_ "

The idea, much to the surprise and horror of Nami and Usopp, required Franky to fire his radical beam directly at Luffy. Luffy ignored their protests and concentrated his Armament Haki to his hands and amazingly _caught the beam in them._

"Luffy, what in the hell are you doing?!" Usopp shouted.

"I always wanted to do this one!"

With extreme fortitude, Luffy managed to compressed the beam into one little ball that he held within his palms. He cupped both of his trembling hands together as he held the burning beam of light in them. It hurt like hell, but it was going to be worth it in a few seconds. Then, he pulled his arms back and stretched them out several feet. A bright smile made its way to his face as his anticipation rose. "Gum-Gum…

" **KAMEHAMEHAAAAAAA!"**

In an attack worthy of the man who he was dressed as, Luffy violently swung his arms out forward and slammed it into Cypher's back, annihilating him with the deadly combination of his iron fists and Franky's Radical Beam. The impact produced a colossal explosion of light and smoke that nearly blinded the crowd of people below. Louis D. Cypher, real name Louis Taffy, was blown far, far away.

When the light and smoke faded away, mouths were agape. Eyes had become awe-struck sparkles. The ability to form coherent thoughts had been robbed blind. Every grown man and child were reduced to gawking, stuttering zombies, overwhelmed by the sheer awesomeness of Franky and Luffy's combined attack. The women…didn't quite get it.

Luffy looked down at his palms, which were still black even long after he'd stopped using his Haki. The beam attack may have been _super_ , but they left his hands absolutely fried. As he was blowing away smoke that was flowing from his hands, Zoro came up to him.

"That was some attack there," he remarked. "Kinda pointless since Franky could've just fired it himself, but it sure as hell looked cool."

"Yeah, it kinda killed my hands," Luffy laughed before he fell down. He seated himself atop a pile of wood. "Sure was worth it though – I wanted to take out that tub of lard myself! That guy was so greedy, it was annoying!" That remark earned him a slap to the head from Sanji.

"Who're you to talk, Luffy? You're a slow metabolic rate away from being just like him," Sanji snickered. The rest of the Straw Hat crew laughed with him – it wasn't like he was lying!

"You guys aren't gonna send me away to an island with no meat one day, are you?" Luffy asked, shuddering at the thought. The growing laughter of his crew sure as hell didn't quell his fears.

"Well Luffy, it looks like you've escaped certain defeat!" rang the shrill voice of Buggy the Clown, who was sporting some bandages over his fingers. "Because if that costume contest actually kicked off, Alvida and I would've flashily kicked your ass!"

"Sure, I guess," Luffy nonchalantly replied. "But thanks for saving Nami back there."

"What?! Don't be ridiculous! I was taking the opportunity to extract my revenge and nothing more!" Buggy replied with a huff. He turned his back to Luffy and folded his arms. "Don't start thinking you and I are friends!" He marched off to return to his crew, but as he walked away he added, "Since you took down the fat man, I consider us even for when I bailed your ass out at Impel Down!"

"Suuuuuuuuuure!"

"Goodbye, Luffy, my love!" Alvida called out with a wink that sent a shiver down Luffy's spine.

"Oh yeah, the contest!" Nami said. Buggy's remark reminded her of the costume contest…but mostly the prize money. Nami settled her eyes on Luffy and recalled his comments on her costume from earlier. Perhaps it was time to put her buxom charms to the test. "Hey, Luffy, sweetie?"

"Hm?" Luffy was a little confused by the sweet voice Nami was using to speak to him. That was usually the voice she busted out when she was _so_ pissed she went full circle and became serene. As far as he remembered, he hadn't done anything annoying to her tonight. And calling him "sweetie?" This was strange.

"I was _really_ looking forward to being in the costume contest with you," she purred. "I'm sure we would've done _so_ good and crushed all of the competition together, but alas, that big, fat stupidhead had to ruin it and make us lose out on the prize money! And I'm just so _worn out_ from everything that's happened…"

Nami flushed her cheeks and seductively stroked Luffy's chin. "So, do you mind just digging your _big_ , _strong_ arms through the wood and finding the 50,000 Berries for me? I'll do _anything_ to show you how much I appreciate it…"

Luffy just laughed at her, unfazed by her alluring gaze, though he did admit that her fingers felt good against his jaw. "Oh c'mon, Nami! Just 'cause I said you're hot doesn't mean I'm gonna start acting all goofy like Sanji!"

"Darn," Nami deadpanned, dropping her arm. Not that she was actually disappointed that her charms still didn't work on him. She liked Luffy better that way, anyhow.

Luffy sprang back up and stretched out his arms. "Boy, am I hungry!"

The captain of the Straw Hats looked around and surveyed the area for candy, or any sign of food, really. His vision became a lot better when he was hungry, allowing him to scan any nook and cranny there was for food. He spotted a piece of candy lying on the remains of the floor and stretched his arm to the area to retrieve it, and then shoved it down his gullet.

"Luffy, don't eat food from the ground; you might get sick!" Chopper scolded.

"That's right, Luffy, and besides, did you even see what it was?" Usopp asked.

"Yeah," Luffy said with his mouth full. "It was this shiny little figurine of a soldier or a pirate or something and-" Luffy, Chopper and Usopp's eyes ballooned when the realization hit them.

"OH NO! **I ATE A PIRATE!** "

Chopper and Usopp frantically grabbed Luffy by the waist and haphazardly performed the Heimlich maneuver on him, while Luffy was shoving his hand down his throat in a hapless effort to make himself vomit the candy back up. Those nearby were either shaking their head in shame or wondering what all of the fracas was about.

A child came near them with a pumpkin bucket in his hand. He dug in it and found a specific piece of candy. It was a superhero armed with a black suit and a blue cape, and he displayed it to the three mortified pirates. "Hey, it's just the 'Legends of the Sea' candy figurine line. I musta dropped it or something."

"Ohhhhhhhh." Luffy, Chopper and Usopp took deep breaths of relief. "Phew, that was a close one."

"Anyway," Zoro grumbled, trying to segue away from that bid of awkwardness. "I think we're better off staying away from costume parties from now on."

"Somebody's mad that they're by far the scariest costume without even dressing up," Sanji remarked.

"Do you want to die, cook?!"

While Zoro and Sanji fought amongst themselves, and the various other pirate crews and Beelzea citizens dispersed from the rubble now that all danger was clear, Luffy turned to the four kids from earlier. "Well, I can't say it wasn't fun!"

"We're sorry for dragging you to that devil guy," the boy in the Dracula costume timidly replied.

"Oh, don't even say that! That fight was fun!" Luffy reassured. "Heck, we might even come back next year!"

"That would be awesome!"

Luffy waved at the kids, and the rest of the crew followed suit. It had certainly been an eventful evening, one that was sure to make them a little weird around candy for a little bit. At the very least, there wasn't any chance of Luffy eating a Meat-Meat Fruit any time in the future.

* * *

Later in the night, back on the ship, Nami yawned while sitting on her bed in her and Robin's room. After the strange ordeal with Cypher, not to mention becoming aware of Luffy being attracted to her and the strange feelings it brought to herself, she was in the mood to crash. She was eating a few pieces of the miniature mountain of candy that Sanji left her and Robin. _At least I know these aren't pirates!_ She joked to herself.

One of the pieces of candy was a sour heart, no doubt something Sanji specifically made sure was in there for his two favorite ladies. When she ripped the piece out of its wrapper, she noticed a message inscribed in it. "'Kiss the first person you see?' Tough luck, Sanji!"

While she chewed down on it, she overheard something loudly banging on her door, much to her annoyance.

"Nami! Naaaaamiiiiii!"

Oh, great, It was the whiny voice of Luffy droning on from outside. Nami sighed and got up to answer it, resolving that he'd just keep knocking even if she ignored him for as long as she could. She irritably swung the door open, revealing Luffy's irritated frown. He was back in his usual outfit.

" _What_ , Luffy?"

"Can we trade candy? The stuff Sanji gave us tastes like vitamins, and I know he gave you and Robin the good stuff," Luffy whined.

"Hey, don't get mad at me because you weren't smart enough to steal some from Sanji when he first bought them!" Nami taunted with a cruel smirk. "I mean, _maybe_ if you pay me…"

"No fair!"

Nami laughed out loud, as Luffy's ridiculous glare at her was actually starting to win her over. She chewed on the last bits of the candy heart and glanced down at the wrapper she had crumpled between her fingers. Then she looked back at Luffy's adorable pouty face and shrugged, having made up her mind. She reached her arm past Luffy and closed the door behind him so that nobody, especially the mercurial cook, could see them.

"Uh, what's up?" Luffy tepidly asked.

"Hey, Luffy," Nami began, relaxing into a smile. "Close your eyes."

Luffy was a little confused by Nami's request, but her pretty smile assured him that it was nothing for him to dread. He shrugged and did as directed, waiting for whatever Nami had planned. He grew a bit tense when he felt her fingers lightly trace along his neck and settle on his chin, just like she'd done earlier. When he felt her face approach his, his throat ran dry – but he didn't want to run away at all. Something distinctly wet, juicy, and soft smacked his lips, and it didn't take a brain surgeon to figure out what just happened. It gave Luffy a rush that could only be exceeded by firing a laser beam.

Nami smirked when she saw Luffy's flushed expression when he opened his eyes. "Did you like th-"

Now Nami was the one who was startled when Luffy grabbed her chin just as she did to him and planted a kiss of his own on her lips. She was shuddering, at a loss for words.

"That tastes waaaaayyy better than candy," Luffy gleamed with his typical wide grin.

Luffy turned on his heel and opened the door, feeling far more satisfied than he'd planned on being when he knocked on it. As he left, he heard Nami call out for him again.

"Hey, Luffy! That second one'll cost you 5,000 Berries!" she snickered before playfully sticking her tongue out at him. She swiftly closed the door before Luffy could barge his way back in. The beleaguered captain was right back to frantically banging on her door.

"Oh, c'mon Nami, no fair!"

 **THE END**


End file.
